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Apple’s Three Laws of Developers

yourhead:

1. A developer may not injure Apple or, through inaction, allow Apple to come to harm.
2. A developer must obey any orders given to it by Apple, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A developer must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

— I. Developer

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but this is pretty spot on.